Still Struggling, Still Hopeful

I'm struggling still, but hopeful still as well. Today I want to see if I can get through the day without eating stuff not on my diet. We'll see what happens.

Into the Fray Every Day

Well, I'm still struggling and that's how it's going to be, it seems: a struggle every day.  It looks like I'm not going to enjoy the easy maintenance displayed (apparently) by Shirley Simon, but that's okay.  I'm not completely sure that's how Shirley ended up anyway.  After all, she dropped out of the public eye years ago, so I'm guessing she went back to being fat too.

Nonetheless, that is not going to happen to me.  I just need to accept that it will be a daily struggle to fend off the addictive powers of food.  Some days I do better than others, but it helps to know that it's not going to be easy--ever!  It's still worth doing, no matter what.  I'm not giving up.

I've been doing pretty well with exercising daily, thanks to the MP3 player I have and the ability to download audio mystery novels from the library!  I've made a rule that I can only listen to the book when I'm exercising--usually walking.  That works very well to get me motivated since I want to know what happens next in the story.  And mysteries are perfect for that since they are suspenseful; moreover, the library has a great many audiobooks that are mysteries, so I will never run out of books to listen to.

The exercise is helping to keep me from eating too much, also. So, things are coming along. I'm still trying to win this contest, but I remain confident, so every day I jump into the fray, struggling against addiction.

Fear Itself

Okay, so I didn't succeed that day--or any other day since then up until . . . today!  Today I stayed on my diet plan, even through supper!

I thought about how I've been so hungry lately during the day and that hunger makes me vulnerable to temptation (of which there is plenty at my work place).  I thought about how it feels to be hungry or experience intense cravings and I decided that it's really a kind of fear--fear of going without food, I suppose, which must have something to do with brain chemistry, because it's highly unlikely that I'll starve any time soon.

Feelings of hunger produce feelings of fear; feelings of craving also seem to produce fear, which produce a frenzied hunt for food that will satisfy the craving.

The problem is, the satisfaction doesn't last very long.  Two hours later (and sometimes sooner) I feel hungry all over again, but then I'm also calories heavier.

So today, when I felt hungry or tempted by calorie-laden snacks, I told myself there was nothing to fear but fear itself, that I could handle being hungry, that I didn't really need to eat those M&Ms or donuts.  Then I held out until it was time for my healthy snack that I brought and I ate that, as slowly as possible.

Those strategies seemed to work well today.  Also helpful was eating cottage cheese instead of milk, especially with celery reserved from lunch.  It was crunchy and had protein for longer lasting sustenance, something I need in the afternoon between lunch at 11:30 and supper at 7:30.

And for supper I consulted my old Weight Watchers cookbooks for inspiration, which really seemed to help me come up with a good supper that was also on my diet plan.

So I had a successful day today and proved that I can do it! On to the next!

Finnegan Begin Again

Well, now I know why I've failed at this diet so many times. It's hard! But I'm determined not to let happen again. I'm at least not eating all that fattening stuff I was eating, and it seems I've only gained about 5 pounds--not too bad, considering.

So, today I'm going to try to eat only what I should and to measure everything once again.

We'll see what happens.

Where Am I? Where Am I? Oh, Finally the Holidays Are Over!

Well, the answer to my question, posed in the November, is "not too well."

The holidays are over--finally--and I'm hoping to salvage some of my resolve to return to my healthy eating habits, but I have to say it will not be easy.

I've been writing about my thoughts on the brain's role in overeating in my blog Brain Chemistry Chronicles.  The holidays are stressful, and the social controls are loosened; together that makes a potent force against staying on track.

Now all the bad habits are back and have to be resisted once again. Ugh!

But this time, I'm going to be saying to myself: it's just brain chemistry! It's not real! There's no reason to respond to that stimulus!

We'll see if it works!

Next time . . .

Holidays Approach!

I'm still trying to find a way to record my food intake in a way that's convenient for me so I'll do it. I've started a spreadsheet, so maybe that will work.  We'll see.

The holidays are coming up, and I'm hoping to be able to hold the line, but I wonder if I will succeed . . .

More of the Same

Not much has changed, especially my weight. But that's not a bad thing; at least I'm not going up.  I have to keep working at exercise and curbing my eating.  It's simple, right? But not easy!