No Such Thing as Just a Little Bit?

I'm a little tardy with my post this week.  I don't have much time to post during the week, and this past weekend I was busy with other things, so I didn't get a chance.  But I'm posting now, and I'll try to catch up with how things are going.

I didn't lose any weight this past week, but I'm not sure it was because of the picnic, although it's likely it was.  I'm not concerned about it because I continue to stick to my plan (with a few minor deviations now and again)--I haven't run the bus into a ditch yet!

I do find that eating foods I don't normally eat causes me to have cravings for those foods for a while after eating them.  That's an annoying side effect which makes trying to eat small amounts of fattening foods much more difficult for me.  But as Shirley says in her book, "if a particular Controlled Trade is causing trouble, get rid of it for a while. In the interim, work on your eating behaviors and eat less tempting Controlled Trades.  You can try the troublesome Trade again after you've learned to exercise more control."

Getting rid of a food can be a bit tricky, though, when you've already brought it home.  Now it must be eaten or thrown away, and neither is a very satisfying alternative.  Foods from the picnic followed us home, and then lingered there, tempting us for days (although I did bring some of them to work the next Monday--three days later).  It was a bad idea to bring home the food, but the "Waste Not, Want Not" subterfuge kicked in and before I knew what was happening, it was in the back of our van.  I'm going to try to leave the picnic earlier next time so I won't get stuck with disposing of the extra food.

The picnic food ended up causing trouble for me in a way I didn't like.  I found myself thinking about it and looking at it every time I was in the vicinity.  I had to keep telling myself not to eat it, which was kind of tiresome, I must say.  I wonder what normal people (without eating addictions) would do.  Well, not being tempted, they'd ignore it, I suppose, until it was too stale or moldy or rotten to eat.  Then they'd throw it out. 

Whenever I wonder about non-eating disorder behavior, I have only to think of what my slim friend Linda would do.  In the case of excess goodies, Linda puts them in the cupboard or the back of the refrigerator and promptly forgets about them.  Months later, she finds them and says, "Oh, I didn't know I still had those," or something to that effect. Of course, they then go right into the trash without regret.

This is part of what Shirley promises in her book--that kind of relationship with food.  Linda doesn't hate food, she simply isn't addicted to it.  She enjoys the taste of rich chocolates, but doesn't crave more after she's eaten one or two pieces. Her relationship with food is like my relationship with alcohol--I like a glass of fine wine, but after one or two glasses, I can put it into the refrigerator and not even think about it until weeks later, when I wonder if it's gone bad.  Or it doesn't bother me to pour out a bottle of beer after I've only taken a few sips, even though I might put the cap back on and leave it in the refrigerator for a few days before eventually dumping it.

Eating addicts know they're addicted, although they may not want to admit it openly.  But I have to wonder why advocates of some diets don't know it.  Programs like Weight Watchers, that encourage dieters to eat just a little bit of brownie or cake or doughnut or ice cream (especially if they're Weight Watchers' brand goodies) without providing the infrastructure that Shirley provides, are pushing what they know to be extremely difficult for the truly addicted.  They are courting diet disaster, in my opinion.They may have helps, but I think they don't do enough to deal with the destructive behaviors that are causing the problems. But perhaps they don't care as long as they can sell their special food and collect monthly dues from members. 

Anyway, this week has been a bit easier so far, so I'm looking forward to a loss this week when I step on the scale.  I'll keep you posted!

The Company Picnic Challenge

This past week I've focused more on where I'm eating, but I didn't have much luck with eating away from my desk.  It was a busy week at work, and to save time, I ate my lunch and my snacks at my desk.  I have made a concerted effort to not eat at my computer at least!  Not only does it make the eating more conscious, but also helps keep my keyboard clean!

Yesterday was the company picnic, and of course there were lots of fattening foods available--grilled meats, chips and dip, pasta salads, desserts galore.  I didn't do too badly, eating small amounts of a few different salads and one mettwurst in a bun. Then some desserts as well.  I ended up taking home many of the desserts just to keep from throwing them away (Great Depression Syndrome), but now we're faced with them on our counter and in our refrigerator. I'm very tempted to eat them, but I know there's no way I can eat them the way I used to: until they're gone.  Maybe I'll take them to the office today . . .

Since I was paying attention to where I was eating, though, I did notice that the "special occasion" behavior came out yesterday.  I found myself eating standing up at the picnic table, and at home, munching food as I was doing other things.  And of course it's always the food I shouldn't be eating that I'm eating on the run.

If I can confine the special occasion behavior to one day, though, I'll feel like I've gained a victory.  We'll see what happens. I'll keep you all posted, as ever.

Step 6: Breaking the Eating and . . . Chains

This past week has been fairly ordinary, with no outstanding challenges, although I did fall behind a few times with my recording, waiting until the end of the day or even the next day to write down what I ate.  That concerns me a little, since I don't want to get away from keeping my eating notebook, even though it it might seem like I don't need to do it.  Once I start forgetting to write down foods, I start forgetting how much and what I ate during the day, and that inevitably leads to overeating.

For example, yesterday I didn't write anything down at all, and even though I thought I followed the eating plan, today, when I tried to remember everything I ate, I didn't remember the cereal I ate around noon, which was counted for a protein meal.  I didn't eat extra, but if I'd been looking at the list at the end of the day yesterday, I might have figured I could eat another meat or bread choice.

It's very easy to eat unconsciously.  Writing down consumption makes me pay attention to it, even though sometimes I forget or don't want to take the time.

This week I'm going to start the next step in the plan: eating in a designated eating place and there only.  This is step six of the plan, and part one of the "Breaking the 'Eating and . . . ' Chains" (141) segment. Part two is eating only, without doing anything else but conversing. The idea behind these steps is that "Eating should become as pure an activity as possible" (142).  If eating is linked to other activities or a variety of places, then the place or activity will trigger the impulse to eat, even if it's not time to eat.  So that if you always read while you eat, for instance, you'll want to eat when you read, too.  And if you eat in the car, then every time you're in the car, you'll want to eat.  Eating and . . . chains can become powerful stimuli, causing me to reach for food automatically before I realize I'm doing it.

So I'm going to try to eat in only one place--the dining room, at the table--for my meals at home.  At work, I'll eat in the cafeteria, I think, since eating at my desk is not a good idea.  Where I normally eat at my desk is also where I do other things, so I wouldn't want that place associated with food.  This will become tricky for breaks, since I now don't normally take breaks but still need to eat.  Maybe I can go to the employee break room for my breaks.  I should probably be taking breaks away from my desk anyway, but that cuts into the time I want to spend getting some exercise.  I may have to do something different there too. Exercise at a different time, maybe early in the morning.

At any rate, we'll see how it goes.  I have to make a check mark for every time I eat in the designated place, which will give me a record of my progress.  I'm certainly not looking forward to the next step, where I can't read while I eat, since that is how I get most of my reading done.  Well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess.

I did lose weight over the two weeks I was on vacation, and I lost about 1/2 pound this past week. I'm still on track to lose about 5 lbs every month, which is slow but steady progress toward my goal.

I've been enjoying getting gradually smaller.  The difference is probably imperceptible to my coworkers, however.  I imagine the moment in the future when they will suddenly realize I'm no longer fat and ask me what happened.  I plan to tell them about this plan and refer them to this blog.

And I'll tell you all about it here.