This past week I had intended to start the next step in the Learn to Be Thin program, Clue Finding, but didn't fare too well with that. All of my "slips" were consciously made, and so didn't feel like slips to me. That's a dilemma I have with this eating plan--in trying to eat more like a "normal" person, I eat things that are not on the eating plan. How do I count those? Should I count them as slips, as unauthorized deviations from the diet plan, or as what Shirley calls "controlled cheats"--planned additions accounted for with subtractions elsewhere?
But the controlled cheats are very restricted on the plan--I suppose that's for a good reason. Most food addicts would go hog-wild if left to their own devices, especially early in the process. I understand the necessity for restrictions, but at this stage, I believe venturing out into "normal" territory is important to learning to be thin and that I need to make those forays when the opportunities present themselves (not every day, of course).
So for instance, when John and I went to the company holiday party this past week, I ate a piece of chocolate cake, a decision I made on the spur of the moment. It was small, but very good. I tried to eat it slowly and enjoy it. The meal was good also, though not exceptional (a bit greasy, actually), but I ate that slowly too. I don't consider these decisions slips, though they probably do slow down my weight loss progress. They are occasions for exercising control, for asking myself if I really want or need to eat that particular food at that moment and then answering honestly.
Maybe those are the incidents I can be investigating. Not the slips, but the choices to eat as a normal, non-food-addicted person would eat. Perhaps I'll try that this week--really interrogate my "normal" eating choices. Are they as free as I think they are?
Stay tuned next week for the answer.
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