The Last 20 Pounds

This week was a more normal week of eating mostly allowed foods and exercising just about every day, so I did manage to lose 0.8 pounds, or about the normal amount for me.

I'm still having trouble writing down my intake, so this week I'm going to try (again) to do better with that.

I think I'm getting to the "last 20 pounds" threshold.  Veteran dieters say that the last 20 pounds are the hardest to lose, which makes sense, since the less weight you have, the less energy it takes to haul that smaller carcass around.  That means that the number of calories consumed and the amount of exercise I do now are not going to be enough before long.  I'm going to have to step it up.

So this week I'm going to examine ways to do that without getting too hungry and going off my eating plan.

Wish me luck.

Demon Chocolate's Return

Well, this week I tried again to eat trail mix, and found I still could not just leave it alone after a few bites.  The trail mix I bought was 50 calories per tablespoon, so I couldn't eat very much of it without going overboard.  But having it sitting there in my cubicle, I just kept going back to it until I found and ate all the chocolate candy pieces and the almonds and the cranberries--the stuff I liked. I did finally throw the peanuts and raisins away.  But I'm sure my "experiment" amounted to 300 or more extra calories consumed.

But it wasn't just the calories; it was the loss of control and the unhappy realization that I can't just lightly snack on anything that has chocolate candy in it.  I also had a piece of Indian New Year coffee cake that one of my coworkers brought in. It was good, and I didn't feel out of control eating it, but it was extra.  Plus, this week I didn't exercise every day as I usually do, so it's no wonder I gained almost a pound.

Apparently, I'm still at the lowest coping level with chocolate candy: Level VII - Avoiding or eliminating the stimulus.  Will it ever change?  I don't know, but I guess I need to stop testing myself until I'm really ready to take on the challenge, using Shirley Simon's zeroing-in technique. 

Shirley's technique with cherry pie (her nemesis) was to very gradually ascend through the coping levels, from highest to lowest: 

I. Face to face without any help
II. Face to face under safe conditions
III. Competing response: keep your hands busy
IV.  Competing response: keep your mouth busy
V.  Competing response: eat the right food
VI.  Making the stimulus hard to get
VII.  Avoiding or eliminating the stimulus

She started out at level VII and then gradually took on cherry pie at the various levels: bringing it into the house but not eating it, and showing that she could be around the pie by doing other things such as eating fruit or drinking coffee. When she finally reached level I, she could eat a small piece of pie and not eat any more of it, in private with no help from hubby.

Do I want to have that kind of control over chocolate candy? It would mean having only one piece of chocolate a week, for instance.  Right now I'm thinking, what's the point?  But that says to me that chocolate is not food, it's a drug, since the only way to consume it is to overconsume it to obtain whatever effect it provides. Can one obtain that effect from just one piece of chocolate?  That's a good question.  But a better one is: Why risk it?

It's like the question of drinking coffee with caffeine or not, or even drinking coffee at all. There are benefits to caffeine; it stimulates the brain and possibly the metabolism.  Coffee tastes good, even if it's decaffeinated. But the consequences for me are an increase in heart flutters and a painful bladder.  I don't know if the benefits outweigh the harms. 

If I ask the same question about chocolate, what do I answer?  Benefits: good feeling, taste bud pleasure.  Harms: eat too much and gain weight, put too much fat into body, hurt bladder.  If I could eat just a little chocolate, would I get the same amount of benefit? I don't think so.  I suspect that the benefit comes from eating a lot of chocolate.  As it turns out, people have done studies on that question (mostly funded by candy companies). Here's one website's review of the chocolate research: Chocolate's Potential Health Benefits.

I found the word "potential" in the title to be important because when I look at the research as a whole, the results are inconclusive, and there still lingers the question of how much chocolate is enough.  If the amount that produces benefits will also produce obesity and fat-related illnesses, is it worth it? And if the benefit-producing amount is small, can a chocolate-addicted person stop at that amount?

I think I'll just stick with other healthy foods for now and leave chocolate alone. Maybe someday I'll take it on and get to coping level one. In the meantime . . .

I'm hoping to have a less challenging week coming up.  Wish me luck.

The March Madness Challenge

This week was challenging because of March Madness Wings Day at work.  I was in charge of making it happen, which meant that I had to order the wings we'd be eating. Of course, I had to ensure they tasted good, so I tried some the day before, and then I had to eat some at the luncheon, too. And when there were leftover wings, I had to take some home because I knew how much they cost and didn't want to waste any (sound familiar?).

Well, with so many excuses for eating wings, of course I got to eat quite a few this week. I don't think it hurt my diet too much in terms of calories, but in terms of reviving old cravings, the fatty wings created some problems.  I found myself wanting to eat more fat, but worse perhaps, I started to think I could eat it with impunity.  Once I realized I was slipping back into that old mentality, I pulled back.  But the experience let me know, once again, that I'm never going to be out of the woods.  Oh well, I guess I'll just have to live with that and stay vigilant.

Otherwise, I had a fairly successful week, though I'm still having trouble recording my eating.  I need to contemplate how to make that process more helpful so I'll keep up with it.  I'll try to do better this week and report my progress next weekend.

Until then . . .

Puttering Along at Week 55

Another two weeks of sticking mostly to the Learn to Be Thin plan: continued challenges to recording my food intake, but not too many challenges to my resolve.

I'm not sure what lessons to report from the interval, but I do find myself getting hungry again during the day, mostly mid-afternoon. I'm not really sure what to do about that, other than to try to eat food that sticks with me. I don't want to add more calories to my diet, since I get plenty, I think, and I'm losing weight slowly enough as it is.

Perhaps a higher protein breakfast would help . . . I may try that.  I could eat fish instead of cereal . . . hmmm. Maybe I'll buy some smoked salmon or some kipper snacks.  Or perhaps tuna would work.  I'll have to think about it some more.

I'm also starting to feel a little smug about my success.  I look around me at people who should be dieting, but aren't, and I congratulate myself for my ability to do what others seem unable to do.  Then I think: Well, if they'd just use my diet, they'd succeed too.  It's hard not to proselytize to the masses to try to convert them to my approach.  I guess that's how these born-again Christians feel about the transformative power of religion.  They really want people to feel good the way they do.  Ah well, people have to use what works for them, and since I can't control them, I'll just try to set a good example. 

What helps more than anything, though, I'm beginning to think, is writing this blog.  Because I have to report my progress, I try to have something good to report every week.  And because "someone" is waiting to hear about it, I know I can't stray too far from the path.  The Learn to Be Thin diet plan is a good one, but it's not easy to stick with.  Writing in this blog makes the "sticking to it" part easier, so it's one of the most useful tools I've come up with to make sure what I learn continues to help me get and stay slim.

Exercise is important, too, and helps increase my metabolism, or so I've read.  My husband makes sure we get our exercise (that's his bailiwick), so together we make a good team.  And he continues to make nutritious meals for us, another important tool for ensuring our success.

So I'm still puttering along, still losing, still learning to be thin.  See you next time!

The Challenge of Not Being Challenged

Well, it's been almost two weeks since I've posted.  Last week I was doing some other writing instead, and since I have limited time on weekends, I decided not to post. 

But not too much has happened since my last entry. I was challenged once again by free chocolate treats (There are certainly a lot of them around my work place!), but otherwise I puttered along with my normal routine.  There was a luncheon out with my coworkers, but I chose a nice piece of salmon instead of something fattier, and stopped eating when I was full.  And I tried to concentrate on conversation instead of eating, which was a good strategy since I got to know my coworkers a little better as a result.

One thing I found challenging this past week or so was keeping up with my food journal.  I found myself forgetting whole days of recording, which was annoying, since after about a day I no longer remember what I ate.  Someone might say that I should quit recording, but I'm not ready to do that, since it helps me pay attention to what I'm eating.  And I need that daily reminder because I'm still likely to veer off the pavement and head for the ditch, as it were.

I'm not using it as completely as I should, though.  One of the diet diary's purposes is to reward myself for good behavior.  Those little check marks every hour are supposed to help me stay on the road to thinness by giving me an "attagirl" for eating what I should.  When I forgo that reward, it seems that maybe I don't need it, that I'm confident of my ability to get through each hour successfully.  Perhaps that's true, at least as long as I'm in my routine and not faced with any challenges.  I think I need to do more to make myself aware of the choices I face, though.  I should probably start writing about those choices in the columns available for that.  We'll see . . .

Meanwhile, I still have 25 pounds to go, and I think those pounds may be the hardest to take off, especially since I tend to get hungry more often now.  But I'm not giving up--not ever.  Not even when I reach goal weight.  This is the end of the line for Fat Cheryl.  I'm no longer going to be obese, fat, or even slightly pudgy. Those days are over. Over!

See you next week.

Another One of Those Pesky Pig-Out Holidays

I'm at week 51 now and still hanging in there, though I gained a half pound this week, making my total weight loss over two weeks 1.5 pounds, or about my average of .75 pounds per week.  I knew that was going to happen, so I'm not disappointed.

This week so far I've had to deal with Valentine's Day, a traditional pig-out holiday (there seem to be quite a few of those!).  I did pretty well on the day itself with eating a bit of cake, a cookie and some little bits of chocolate offered me at work.  But I do find myself craving the chocolate, after only a small piece.  I did okay with the cookie, though.  I think I'm over cookie addiction pretty well, but chocolate candy is another thing altogether, it seems.  Maybe I'll never get over that addiction.

Today I found myself thinking about the chocolate I still have (one piece), and how I can "get rid of it" (by putting it into my stomach, of course) so that I can stop thinking about it.  These are all signs of addiction, of course.  So I guess my coping level with chocolate is still at the "keep it away from me" level.  Well, maybe I'll try again at the next chocolate-eating holiday (that would be Easter, I think).

Otherwise, I'm puttering along with my eating plan and my daily exercise.  I'm telling more people about it, too, these days.  That's a good sign, I think.  It means I feel pretty confident that I'm not going to slide back to my old ways.  If I weren't so confident, I'd be afraid to tell people because they might be disappointed with me later if I fail once again to get slim.

These are all familiar feelings to those of us who struggle with our weight.  But I still think I can win this battle and stay slim, despite all the challenges.  I'm really starting to understand what it means to be "recovering" instead of "recovered."  It's never over; I'm never going to be completely free of eating addictions.  But as long as I know that, I can continue to keep them at bay.

Until next time . . .

Week 50: Step 10 - The Zeroing In Technique

Week 50 is here, which means it's been almost a year since I started my eating plan (a little more than a year since I started this blog).  I haven't lost nearly as much weight as I'd hoped to (not even a pound a week), but I've made great progress on learning the behaviors I will need to stay thin for the rest of my life.  And for the first time, I'm below 160 pounds, which means I've reached another milestone.

This past week I was challenged by lunch out with my coworkers at a restaurant that featured large quantities of high-calorie foods. I would have liked to have met the challenge more successfully, but I did learn some things.  The first challenge was the cost of the meal: it was much higher than I'm willing to pay normally.  This by itself was not bad.  The problem was that with a meal that expensive I wanted to get my money's worth, but to do that meant eating more than I should.  So I had to decide whether I would be happier eating less than my money's worth, or eating more than I should.  Was there a way to compromise?  I tried to find one by eating from the salad bar first so that I might be too full to eat much of the meats that were offered in quantities limited only by the diner's appetite.  Since the idea of going to a Brazilian steak house is to eat the meat, I felt I was at least going to get an experience for my money by choosing both the salad bar and the meat.

Well, the first part worked pretty well.  I ate from the salad bar some nice veggies (asparagus was one), but also ate some of the creamy soup and bacon chunks (they were much bigger than bits) and a little pasta roll.  The second part was also moderately successful.  When the meat started to arrive, I ate small slices, but it was so fatty that even a small slice was probably high in calories.  It was tasty though, and I tried to eat slowly and enjoy it.  I ended up not eating everything I was served, but I was still pretty full when I pushed the plate away.  When the dessert cart came around, I said no along with my fellows.

Interestingly enough, when I saw the dessert cart, the first thing I asked myself was, "Is it included?"  Of course, that should make no difference.  The proper question should be, "Do I want any dessert?"  Once again the old "waste not, want not" subterfuge (in one of its variations: "I have to get my money's worth") came into play, tempting me to ignore the fact that I'd already had more than enough to eat.  Even then, I might have gone for it if someone else at the table had offered to share a dessert (no one did).  The cakes and puddings looked very rich and were probably delicious, but again, that was not the issue. 

But this is the kind of eating behavior problem that persists in showing up to try to take me down just as I'm getting close to my goal.  And they're not going to go away without some extra effort.  In her book, Learn to Be Thin, Shirley Simon offers what she calls "Extra Help Techniques" to deal with the more stubborn eating problems that prevent people from succeeding.  I've already outlined the first technique that was introduced in Step 9: The Clue-Finding Technique.  Step 10 describes the "Zeroing-In Technique" (160).

In the Zeroing-In Technique, we choose the eating problems we want to work on and then find and employ the best way to solve them.  In this step she also introduces coping levels 1 through 7. The coping levels outline how well you deal with temptation when faced with it.  For instance, if one of your eating problems is that you can't stop eating ice cream once you start, you might not be able to cope with ice cream at level one, the highest level, where you are face-to-face with your nemesis without any help--that is, the take-it-or-leave-it level.  The lowest coping level, seven, is where you can't even stand to have it around and so to avoid temptation, you have to keep the problem food out of your life entirely.  In between are coping levels 2-6, where you can have it around, but have to do something to avoid eating it, whether it's facing it under controlled conditions, or keeping your hands or mouth busy without eating it, eating something innocuous instead, or making it difficult to get to it. In psychology terms, the process of moving through such coping levels is called successive approximation.

For each problem eating behavior, you choose which coping level you are at currently, then gradually try to move up to level one: face-to-face without any help.  So take my problem of not eating responsibly at a restaurant, for instance.  To change that behavior, I need to work on getting to level one, where no matter the occasion or the restaurant, I will eat only those things that are appropriate to eat and refuse those that aren't.  Before I do that, though, I need to decide what level I'm at now.  I'm not sure about it, but I'm going to do some research and find out.

So that's what I'm going to do this week coming up.  I'll report on my results next week!