Chapter 2: The Subterfuges of Fat

Chapter 2 of Learn to Be Thin, "The Subterfuges of Fat," is my favorite because it's so funny.  In this chapter Shirley lays out the many, many ways people come up with to justify their eating behavior.  It's part of a five-chapter section labeled "Understanding Your Problems," in which we, the readers who presumably want to change our lives, become aware of what is really standing in the way of success (not what we always tell ourselves is standing in the way).

One of those obstacles is denial.  Instead of acknowledging that what we do is largely responsible for keeping us fat, we point the finger at other supposed culprits--family members who offer us food, weekly birthday parties at work, genetic predisposition, holiday seasons (there are so many!), stress, boredom, fatigue, etc. etc. etc.  And then, relieved of the burden of having to change, we keep on eating.

"The Subterfuges of Fat" identifies those "culprits."  It's a humorous chapter because it forces you to see how ridiculous some of those justifications are.  I think you'll recognize some of them when you read through this chapter; I did.  Here's one that was familiar to me, "The Sickly Subterfuge":

A vast assortment of symptoms accompany this excuse for eating. One such symptom is the hunger headache, which can be cured only with such potent remedies as chocolate and whipped cream cake. Even if you haven't had such a headache for quite a while, you can live in almost constant fear of a possible recurrence. Therefore, you never let up on your regimen of preventive eating.

You may also suffer from fatigue--a rather odd sort to be sure, in that it can't be relieved by sleep or rest. It can only be relieved by food. Not just any food, only certain kinds, like, perhaps, pizza or peanut butter sandwiches. It comes on at rather odd times, like right after eating a heavy meal or after sitting around doing absolutely nothing all day long.  (19-20)

Here's another familiar pair: "The Good-Time Charlie and Celebrator Subterfuges":

This happy twosome plays out variations on the same theme.  Each is dedicated to the pursuit of happiness--a somewhat narrow and limited happiness, to be sure, but a kind of happiness, nevertheless.  The happiness comes from eating.  Unfortunately, this pleasure, like all good things in life, carries with it a high price tag.  But their rationalization is that in order to get something of value you must be willing to give something up--in this case good looks, good health, a sense of dignity, and a host of other expendables. 

The person who hides his eating habits under the cloak of a Good-Time Charlie decides at certain times he wants to have fun and that, in order to have fun, he needs to eat. . . . Celebrators can be pardoned because they're pressured by social necessity.  Friends have birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, confirmations, graduations, and all these demand participation, to say nothing of the happy events in your own life.  And each of these must be celebrated with food.  (30)

There are many other, equally laughable, equally familiar subterfuges presented in this chapter, but they all have the same goal: eating.  As Shirley says, "That's the payoff, the basic reinforcement, no matter what the initial pretext was" (17).  Here's Shirley's list:

The Beleaguered Subterfuge; the Martyr; the Unloved; the Failure; the Buck-Passer; the Revenge Subterfuge; the Know-It-All; the Willpower Subterfuge; the Confession Subterfuge; the Sneak; the Procrastination Subterfuge; the Justifier; the Weak Naysarer; the Diet Dilettante; the Envy Subterfuge; the Professional; the Schizophrenic [split-mind, that is] Subterfuge. 

Each description has some seeds of truth in it. I find that my subterfuges are combinations of some of these.  For instance, one I use often is what I call the "Now's My Chance" subterfuge.  I use it around the holidays, usually, in combination with the Celebrator.  It goes like this: now that the holidays are upon us, no one will be expecting me to be on a diet, so I might as well enjoy myself and eat now while I have the chance. Unfortunately, the holidays last from early October, when the Halloween candy comes out, until Valentine's Day and beyond.  As long as I can claim a holiday, I can use the Now's My Chance subterfuge. And I keep eating.

The purpose of Chapter 2 is to get us to examine our subterfuges--what are we refusing to acknowledge about our eating behavior and what lame excuses are we hiding behind?

So this week I'm working on my Subterfuges, to try to ferret them out, bring them out into the light so they can be examined for what they are--excuses to stay fat.  You can join me if you like!