Well, I've finally achieved a weight loss of thirty pounds, which puts me halfway to my goal of 60 pounds. It took a little longer than I thought, but I think I will have a better chance of not gaining it back because of the length of time it took.
Quick weight loss seems to be everyone's goal, but that's only because, I think, they run out of patience with their eating plan. They just want to get it over with. Believe me, I understand that impulse completely. I'd like to lose 60 pounds overnight too, but I know that if I did, I'd only gain it back because I hadn't learned to keep it off.
Learning is the key. Unfortunately, learning takes time, sometimes a lot of time. The learning curve on this project is not too steep, but it's long. This past week I tried to work step 8, to write down my food before I ate it; I succeeded about half the time, I'd guess. I'm not sure if it helps or not, since I almost always contemplate the consequences of eating a meal before preparing it. Once in a while I eat something impulsively, but not often. I'll have to keep trying this technique before I can decide whether or not it's useful for me.
Being prepared is important though, and important to emphasize yet again. When I went on a little day trip yesterday I made sure I brought a lunch so I wouldn't be caught without food at a time when I was hungry. (It's a good thing, too, since the place we went didn't have food.) I still got hungry though, and was wishing I had brought more food to munch. But it was nice to have food right on hand instead of having to go somewhere to get it. I don't know what would've happened otherwise.
I also got hungry before bed yesterday, which doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it's usually on weekends. I don't really know why I was hungry. I didn't eat the right kind or amount of food, I guess. Or maybe it was the exercise I had, though I doubt it. I took care of the hunger, though, by eating more than was allowed on my menu plan. I don't want that to happen again, so I'm going to have to figure out a better strategy for days off.
But thinking about what to do, making a plan and sticking to it is what this project is all about. And writing about it helps immensely; not only am I making a kind of after-action review and report, but I'm also getting the whole business out of my head and on paper where it can be read and thought about by others, and perhaps especially, by me.
See you next week.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Week 35 and Finally, Step 8
I went back to "the book" (Learn to Be Thin) today after several weeks of working without it, looking for some fresh insights for my continued quest to learn to be thin. I was reminded that I've been putting off Step 8 for a while, but I think it's time now to engage with it. So this week I plan to start.
Step 8 in the Learn to Be Thin plan is called "Making Eating a Premeditated Act" (147-155). The simple part of this step is to write down everything I eat before I eat it. Ms. Simon argues that this will put one more stumbling block in the path of unconscious eating, disrupting stimulus-response chains that reinforce unwanted behaviors. But this technique is also part of a larger campaign of planning ahead so that I'm not caught in the grip of a powerful eating compulsion and taken down before I even realize I'm in danger.
Planning ahead can take the form of checking the menu of a restaurant before eating there to see what I can choose that would be on my eating plan. It can be anticipating what might be available at a social gathering and planning accordingly, either by bringing food I can eat or saving up a bread or meat choice to use at that event. One of the easiest ways to plan ahead for me is to bring my lunch to work. It serves two purposes: limits my eating choices, and prevents me from being hungry when my lunch time is delayed or in some other way disrupted. Over time I've refined what I bring, expanding it to include snacks so that I'm never without allowed foods when I get hungry during the day.
But despite all the plans I make, there are still some moments of impulse eating. A coworker, for instance, might offer home-made or otherwise special treats that are hard to pass up. Or an unanticipated celebration might come up that requires me to decide whether or not I'm going to eat cake. Those are obvious ways that my plans might get derailed. But there are more subtle sabateurs lurking. Shirley talks about one habit she had that was hard to break: chewing gum. Here is her description of how she changed it:
Once I noticed that habit, I asked myself why I needed to eat mints at meetings. One answer I gave myself was that I needed something to moisten my mouth in case I got thristy. Another was that I might get hungry and need a little sugar boost, or a little pick-me-up because I'm sleepy or bored. But I have to admit that the real reason is that I'm habituated to grabbing the mint; it's a stimulus-response chain I've forged that now tugs on me every time I head for a meeting. (Fortunately, I don't have too many meetings to attend.) But I can change this behavior, try to break this one chain. After all, there are other ways to avoid dry mouth or hunger, boredom or sleepiness. I just have to use them.
Breaking those chains is at the heart of the Learn to Be Thin program. After 34 weeks I'm still discovering these little snags that keep me from gaining control of my eating. I'm facing fewer hidden pitfalls than when I began, but after a lifetime of eating a certain way, I'm not out of the woods yet.
I'm getting closer, though. See you next week.
Step 8 in the Learn to Be Thin plan is called "Making Eating a Premeditated Act" (147-155). The simple part of this step is to write down everything I eat before I eat it. Ms. Simon argues that this will put one more stumbling block in the path of unconscious eating, disrupting stimulus-response chains that reinforce unwanted behaviors. But this technique is also part of a larger campaign of planning ahead so that I'm not caught in the grip of a powerful eating compulsion and taken down before I even realize I'm in danger.
Planning ahead can take the form of checking the menu of a restaurant before eating there to see what I can choose that would be on my eating plan. It can be anticipating what might be available at a social gathering and planning accordingly, either by bringing food I can eat or saving up a bread or meat choice to use at that event. One of the easiest ways to plan ahead for me is to bring my lunch to work. It serves two purposes: limits my eating choices, and prevents me from being hungry when my lunch time is delayed or in some other way disrupted. Over time I've refined what I bring, expanding it to include snacks so that I'm never without allowed foods when I get hungry during the day.
But despite all the plans I make, there are still some moments of impulse eating. A coworker, for instance, might offer home-made or otherwise special treats that are hard to pass up. Or an unanticipated celebration might come up that requires me to decide whether or not I'm going to eat cake. Those are obvious ways that my plans might get derailed. But there are more subtle sabateurs lurking. Shirley talks about one habit she had that was hard to break: chewing gum. Here is her description of how she changed it:
Because I decided to focus on the stimulus-response chains in that one behavior, I realized that whenever I finished a cup of coffee I had some gum; every time I ate a fruit, I had some gum; every time I took out the car keys, I had some gum; and on and on throughout the day. Becoming aware of these stimulus-response connections made me realize that many of the times that I took a stick of gum I didn't even want any. My automatic gum chewing decreased quite a bit just because I had focused on it and had become aware of the dynamics involved. (148)Her problem made me think of one I have: eating mints or other hard candy more often than I should. Though each piece of candy is only 20 calories, they do add up. I decided to limit myself to two pieces a day, but didn't plan when I would eat them, so ended up eating more than I planned to because occasions came up that "required" a mint. What were those occasions? Well, one was going to a meeting. Every time I headed for a meeting, I'd grab a mint. And if it was going to be a long meeting, I'd grab two (or even three).
Once I noticed that habit, I asked myself why I needed to eat mints at meetings. One answer I gave myself was that I needed something to moisten my mouth in case I got thristy. Another was that I might get hungry and need a little sugar boost, or a little pick-me-up because I'm sleepy or bored. But I have to admit that the real reason is that I'm habituated to grabbing the mint; it's a stimulus-response chain I've forged that now tugs on me every time I head for a meeting. (Fortunately, I don't have too many meetings to attend.) But I can change this behavior, try to break this one chain. After all, there are other ways to avoid dry mouth or hunger, boredom or sleepiness. I just have to use them.
Breaking those chains is at the heart of the Learn to Be Thin program. After 34 weeks I'm still discovering these little snags that keep me from gaining control of my eating. I'm facing fewer hidden pitfalls than when I began, but after a lifetime of eating a certain way, I'm not out of the woods yet.
I'm getting closer, though. See you next week.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Lessons in Leftovers
This week I tried out a "normal" behavior: occasionally eating too much. I see thin people doing this, so, I figure, it must be something I can do, too. Right? Well, maybe, but it's not so easy and it did keep me from losing weight this week. But I learned some things, and that's the idea, after all.
The occasion was an "off-site team-building" get-together for my section at work (really just a luncheon) where we went to a co-worker's weekend cottage to have a cook-out with hamburgers, sausages, various salads, ice cream and pie. I decided to eat some of everything, as I perceive a "normal" person would do. So I had a hamburger with bun, a few tablespoons of salad, some chips, and a slice of pie with ice cream for dessert. Several people in my section are slender. I took note of what they were eating, which was similar to what I was eating, so I figured it was okay.
But I didn't eat the way I usually would have at such an event--that is, eating everything in sight in large quantities--with the excuse that it was my "chance" to eat a lot. In fact, I tried to slow down and eat one bite at a time, talking in between bites. I did fill up pretty fast and didn't go back for seconds. But I knew what I was eating was more than what I was allowed that day.
Then it was time for dessert. The pie was delicious and was great with the ice cream; both were home made. I was given a huge serving of ice cream that I could've refused, but I accepted it. I didn't eat it all, though. I just left it on my plate, and amazingly, no one cared. In the past, leaving ice cream uneaten would've been impossible for me. So I feel like I accomplished something with the ice cream, even though I ate the whole piece of pie.
What was interesting to me was the host's encouragement to eat more ice cream. We had too much for the twelve of us, apparently, especially with the pie. Even after everyone had had one serving, there was plenty left over. But Ron (who is not fat) didn't want to take it home, so he was trying to get us to eat it. A couple of the heavier folks were persuaded to eat more of the ice cream, and someone else agreed to take home the leftovers.
It reminded me of the many times I've been waylaid by that argument: you have to help "get rid of" extra food. It's especially interesting when those making the argument are slim, and they're not "helping" to eat the food themselves. They probably don't consciously think about it, but they know they can count on the fatties to eat the leftovers they don't want to deal with.
Well, they didn't get me this time, although I was sorely tempted. I just told myself I didn't need ice cream at home, that I (or my husband) would just eat it, and probably right away. I did take the meat, which wasn't urged on me, though I probably shouldn't have, since it was fattier meat than I usually have. I guess it was a compromise with my "waste not, want not" subterfuge. Maybe next time I can ignore the leftovers completely! One step at a time.
My experiment taught me that to occasionally indulge is normal, but it's not as easy as it seems. We fatties see skinnies eating a lot, but then we don't see them later, when they're eating nothing at all for hours, or eating small amounts on a regular basis. We really don't have different metabolisms than normal weight people; we just have a problem stopping when we've had enough.
I may never get to the point where I don't think about food, but at least my thoughts can change from "How can I eat more?" to "How can I eat just enough?"
See you next week.
The occasion was an "off-site team-building" get-together for my section at work (really just a luncheon) where we went to a co-worker's weekend cottage to have a cook-out with hamburgers, sausages, various salads, ice cream and pie. I decided to eat some of everything, as I perceive a "normal" person would do. So I had a hamburger with bun, a few tablespoons of salad, some chips, and a slice of pie with ice cream for dessert. Several people in my section are slender. I took note of what they were eating, which was similar to what I was eating, so I figured it was okay.
But I didn't eat the way I usually would have at such an event--that is, eating everything in sight in large quantities--with the excuse that it was my "chance" to eat a lot. In fact, I tried to slow down and eat one bite at a time, talking in between bites. I did fill up pretty fast and didn't go back for seconds. But I knew what I was eating was more than what I was allowed that day.
Then it was time for dessert. The pie was delicious and was great with the ice cream; both were home made. I was given a huge serving of ice cream that I could've refused, but I accepted it. I didn't eat it all, though. I just left it on my plate, and amazingly, no one cared. In the past, leaving ice cream uneaten would've been impossible for me. So I feel like I accomplished something with the ice cream, even though I ate the whole piece of pie.
What was interesting to me was the host's encouragement to eat more ice cream. We had too much for the twelve of us, apparently, especially with the pie. Even after everyone had had one serving, there was plenty left over. But Ron (who is not fat) didn't want to take it home, so he was trying to get us to eat it. A couple of the heavier folks were persuaded to eat more of the ice cream, and someone else agreed to take home the leftovers.
It reminded me of the many times I've been waylaid by that argument: you have to help "get rid of" extra food. It's especially interesting when those making the argument are slim, and they're not "helping" to eat the food themselves. They probably don't consciously think about it, but they know they can count on the fatties to eat the leftovers they don't want to deal with.
Well, they didn't get me this time, although I was sorely tempted. I just told myself I didn't need ice cream at home, that I (or my husband) would just eat it, and probably right away. I did take the meat, which wasn't urged on me, though I probably shouldn't have, since it was fattier meat than I usually have. I guess it was a compromise with my "waste not, want not" subterfuge. Maybe next time I can ignore the leftovers completely! One step at a time.
My experiment taught me that to occasionally indulge is normal, but it's not as easy as it seems. We fatties see skinnies eating a lot, but then we don't see them later, when they're eating nothing at all for hours, or eating small amounts on a regular basis. We really don't have different metabolisms than normal weight people; we just have a problem stopping when we've had enough.
I may never get to the point where I don't think about food, but at least my thoughts can change from "How can I eat more?" to "How can I eat just enough?"
See you next week.
Monday, October 10, 2011
The Road to Normalcy
Not too much to report this week except for the feeling that this is taking too long. *Sigh* I'm getting to the point now where I want to get it over with, but then when I ask myself what that means, I have to admit I don't know. How will I eat when I lose all the weight I want to? I guess I'll eat pretty much the same, because the amount of calories I'm consuming now will probably be the right amount for someone who weighs 135 lbs. Let's see: 135 X 13 (sedentary person) = 1755. I figure I'm eating about 1650 right now, so that means when I reach my goal weight I could indulge once in a while with no big impact. As long as the indulgence doesn't lead to bingeing, that is.
If I step up my activity, I can take in more calories. 135 X 14 (moderately active) = 1890. Right now I'm at 168 lbs, so 168 X 13 (sedentary) = 2184 - 1650 = 534 cal per day I'm saving. Multiply that by 7 = 3738 calories per week. Since a pound = 3500 calories, I'm potentially losing 1.06 pounds a week. And what d'ya know? That is what I'm losing--most weeks anyway.
I need to step up my activity, though, in order to start using more calories. If I mutiply 168 by 14, for instance, I get 2352 - 1650 = 702 X 7 = 4914 / 3500 = 1.4 lbs per week. Not exactly speedy, eh? But it adds up over time.
And anyway, it's not about the speed, or the weight loss even, but the learning that takes place. I am learning to be thin; that means not just getting thin but staying there. And to stay there, I have to eat differently than I have in the past. I have to change my relationship with food, change the words I use to describe encounters with food. No more chowing down, pigging out, bellying up to the buffet, or drowning my sorrows in a quart of ice cream. Eating cannot be medicine or a drug to abuse--not without serious consequences, anyway.
Sometimes it's comforting to look at the numbers and remember that it's all very cut and dried. I must take in fewer calories than what I expend in order to lose weight. Period. It takes time because the difference is small. Sure, if I wanted to exercise all day or half-starve myself I'd lose weight faster, but who has the time or ability to do that? And even if I could do that for a short period of time and lost all the weight quickly, I'd only put it back on as soon as I resumed my normal routine with its fat-producing intake and output ratio.
You can't argue with science. No matter what foods you consume, it still comes down to input vs. output; expend energy or store it as fat. Simple? Yes. Easy? Definitely not.
I'll see you next time, a little ways down the road to normalcy, taking it one pound at a time.
If I step up my activity, I can take in more calories. 135 X 14 (moderately active) = 1890. Right now I'm at 168 lbs, so 168 X 13 (sedentary) = 2184 - 1650 = 534 cal per day I'm saving. Multiply that by 7 = 3738 calories per week. Since a pound = 3500 calories, I'm potentially losing 1.06 pounds a week. And what d'ya know? That is what I'm losing--most weeks anyway.
I need to step up my activity, though, in order to start using more calories. If I mutiply 168 by 14, for instance, I get 2352 - 1650 = 702 X 7 = 4914 / 3500 = 1.4 lbs per week. Not exactly speedy, eh? But it adds up over time.
And anyway, it's not about the speed, or the weight loss even, but the learning that takes place. I am learning to be thin; that means not just getting thin but staying there. And to stay there, I have to eat differently than I have in the past. I have to change my relationship with food, change the words I use to describe encounters with food. No more chowing down, pigging out, bellying up to the buffet, or drowning my sorrows in a quart of ice cream. Eating cannot be medicine or a drug to abuse--not without serious consequences, anyway.
Sometimes it's comforting to look at the numbers and remember that it's all very cut and dried. I must take in fewer calories than what I expend in order to lose weight. Period. It takes time because the difference is small. Sure, if I wanted to exercise all day or half-starve myself I'd lose weight faster, but who has the time or ability to do that? And even if I could do that for a short period of time and lost all the weight quickly, I'd only put it back on as soon as I resumed my normal routine with its fat-producing intake and output ratio.
You can't argue with science. No matter what foods you consume, it still comes down to input vs. output; expend energy or store it as fat. Simple? Yes. Easy? Definitely not.
I'll see you next time, a little ways down the road to normalcy, taking it one pound at a time.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Week 32: Plugging Along
This week I was on vacation and had to guesstimate how much I was eating because I did a lot of eating out. I tried to offset the extras with exercise and also with vegetables in the evening as much as possible. I did eat some cake a few times, and some ice cream one time, but for the most part I tried to stay on track. I guess it worked to a certain extent, since I lost a half pound over two weeks. But I'm glad to be back to my old routine where I can control what's on the menu.
Otherwise, I'm putting along at my one-pound-a-week pace. I've been trying to pay more attention to each bite, slowing down the meal. It's pretty difficult at times, but I know that it will help to not eat unconsciously.
One thing I learned the past week is that I'm not ready yet to have desserts on hand because I have a hard time saying no. I bought some trail mix at the airport because it was the cheapest food I could find, but I then had to admit I could not eat much of it because of the high calorie count. So I've decided to offer it to my coworkers to get rid of it. Otherwise, I'd be tempted to eat it.
I guess this is kind of a boring report this week. No big revelations. But this is what change consists of, after all. This is the middle, the diet doldrums--a dangerous place because it's tempting to give up when you're making such slow progress, or to imagine you've got it down and that you can start eating the things you've refrained from all these weeks.
Though it's week 32, I know I'm not ready yet to stop recording my intake or to stop paying attention to my attitudes toward eating or to let myself go crazy with high fat or high sugar foods. So I'll plug along, and I'll see you in week 33!
Otherwise, I'm putting along at my one-pound-a-week pace. I've been trying to pay more attention to each bite, slowing down the meal. It's pretty difficult at times, but I know that it will help to not eat unconsciously.
One thing I learned the past week is that I'm not ready yet to have desserts on hand because I have a hard time saying no. I bought some trail mix at the airport because it was the cheapest food I could find, but I then had to admit I could not eat much of it because of the high calorie count. So I've decided to offer it to my coworkers to get rid of it. Otherwise, I'd be tempted to eat it.
I guess this is kind of a boring report this week. No big revelations. But this is what change consists of, after all. This is the middle, the diet doldrums--a dangerous place because it's tempting to give up when you're making such slow progress, or to imagine you've got it down and that you can start eating the things you've refrained from all these weeks.
Though it's week 32, I know I'm not ready yet to stop recording my intake or to stop paying attention to my attitudes toward eating or to let myself go crazy with high fat or high sugar foods. So I'll plug along, and I'll see you in week 33!
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