Well, it's been a while since I've posted, but I've been continuing to work the program, though not always successfully. I've been finding it hard to eat things that slim people occasionally eat--like cake, ice cream, pie, doughnuts, cookies, chips--without triggering cravings for those foods and a feeling of longing after just one.
The other day I had ice cream and cake for my birthday, but after I had eaten a rather large serving, I was feeling frightened by the desire to eat some more as soon as possible. I wanted to resist the powerful urge to finish them off, to get rid of them (by eating them, of course), as if they were radioactive. So I decided to put them into the freezer and have them at another holiday occasion, Memorial Day.
I tried to think what a slim person would do with leftover cake and ice cream. She wouldn't feel compelled to eat the cake and ice cream as quickly as possible. She wouldn't be consumed with thoughts of the treats waiting in the refrigerator until a socially acceptable time to eat dessert arrived. She'd probably ignore them until a festive occasion prompted eating such foods--a special occasion. She wouldn't be thinking, "Oh, there's cake left, let's eat it." She wouldn't feel as though good cake was going to waste just because it wasn't being consumed.
I never feel that way about alcoholic beverages. I never think good beer is going to waste just because it's sitting in the refrigerator for days or weeks. I don't think about the leftover whisky I might happen to have in my cupboard, even if it sits there a year.
That's how slim people feel about treats--they don't. They enjoy eating them when they have them, but they stop when they're satiated. And they don't feel compelled to continue to eat past satiation, just because the treats are sitting on the plate or in the refrigerator or the cupboard.
I'd like to be at that place someday, where I'm enjoying food without compulsion, but it's not going to happen any time soon. Meanwhile, I have to take steps to prevent the overeating that will inevitably follow the eating of any of my "trigger" foods.
It's all part of the process of learning to be thin. See you next time.
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