Cold Turkey?

Okay, it's a new year and we still have lots of junk food to "get rid of," that is, eat. And then we can stop, right? Well, it won't be easy. Cold turkey stopping is the hardest, but probably the most effective way of getting it done. And what do I want to get done? Deal with my eating/food addiction. And it's not eating, really, that's the problem, it's eating certain foods, foods that have become like addictive substances in the way that alcohol is an addictive substance. Drinking alcohol is the fastest way to get the alcohol into the brain where it alters one's perceptions and satisfies the physical need that the brain has created by adding receptors. Chewing and swallowing is the fastest way to get the addictive substances from food into the brain, too, I guess.

It's interesting, really, that the person who drinks to excess craves the feeling that alcohol gives her or him. Why would anyone crave that feeling? One of my former coworkers, who was an alcoholic, said that the feeling was one of "riding," as if he were on top of a wave, above it all. It must be that not riding meant crashing, and that there was no in between for him. But in between is where he would want to be, one would think. In between is normal. Maybe normal was too boring? No, it must be that normal for him meant depressed. And that is because he needed what alcohol was giving him in order to not feel depressed. For him, there was no place where he was not depressed and also not drunk. Or at least he feared there was no such place. His preference was drunk over depressed because he thought that was his only choice.

So, is that how it is for me? Do I fear the state of not eating because it means being depressed? What is the state of eating? What can I call that? Drunk, inebriated, sloshed, blitzed, etc. are all terms one could use for being under the influence of alcohol. But what does one call being under the influence of out-of-control eating or some other compulsive behavior like gambling or shopping or hoarding? Blissed? That doesn't seem to cover it, really, because often times it doesn't feel like bliss--it feels like fear. At first it feels like bliss, but that doesn't last long. Same way with alcohol, I think. It feels good at first, then it feels like nothing. Then, the next day, when the cravings start, it feels bad to be without. The crash happens when the wave collapses.

So, going a day or two without sweets is uncomfortable, but about the third or fourth day, it starts to feel bad. The wave collapses and the addict crashes, going under the water for a while before struggling back to the surface. It's uncomfortable, then frightening. Then the drug-seeking behavior starts and the mind homes in on finding supplies, getting back on top of the wave.

So, how to get past it? Well, the body says that you need to go longer without, to resist the mind's solution, get past the bad days until the cravings diminish to a reasonable level. Will they ever disappear? Maybe, but probably not. The problem is they can be fully restored with just a small amount of the addictive substance. A single cookie, a half a doughnut, a piece of birthday cake. Because those brain-created receptors don't go away completely, they can be reawakened, and quite easily, apparently.

What do I tell myself, then, when the cravings start? It's painful, after all. Do I lock myself in a room and not eat for a day or three or five? Not very practical, and not possible, really. So what, then? Good question. Twelve-step programs tell you to get with your sponsor, talk it through, rely on each other for support. Are there any other possibilities? Smoking cessation programs give you a drug to take until you feel ready to quit altogether. But that's not cold turkey, as they say.

So, I'll have to think more about how these things can work. Shirley Simon has several methods for dealing with an inability to control eating certain foods. Her method for the most difficult ones is to just keep them out of the house or out of reach. Another is to get someone to help you clear the table after you've served foods you can't eat. There are other methods.

But how to face the painful effects of withdrawal? Good question. I'll have to think on that more.