Toward Intrinsic Rewards

Okay, analysis is the name of this game.  I have to figure out how I'm being rewarded for eating behaviors--good and bad.

So, that means knowing what rewards I get now for undesirable behaviors, and finding new rewards for desirable behaviors.

For instance, this morning I ate my oatmeal with raisins as I usually do, but instead of reading while eating (and consequently ignoring the eating experience), I decided to focus on the food.  I still ate pretty fast but did enjoy the taste more.  That can be a reward, one that I wouldn't get if I ignored the taste and just shoveled in the food.

But what is the current reward?  The reading, I suppose, is the reward.  I get to read when I eat, but not usually at other times.  The reading is what I like; the food just makes it legitimate.  I have to eat something in order to read, but I can't focus on both simultaneously, so I focus on the reading.  If I don't have something to read when I eat, I feel empty somehow, like something is lacking.  I miss the reading.

Some people say eating is intrinsically boring, that one needs something to focus on to make the chore of eating go by.  That's an odd claim from people who say they love eating. I think they don't love the eating as much as the before and after--mostly the before--anticipating the eating, preparing the food.  The eating (tasting) is only pleasurable for the first 5 minutes or so, until the palate gets jaded.  It happened to me this morning.  After the first few bites, my oatmeal wasn't as stimulating as before. I had to really concentrate to stay focused on the taste, and still it wasn't as good. Isn't that interesting? The palate gets jaded fast. Yet the overeater keeps eating. I wonder why? Bite follows bite, I guess.  Like the alcoholics' saying: the man takes the drink, the drink takes the drink, then the drink takes the man. Habit takes over and the pleasure comes from continuing the habit, maybe.  

Habit is comforting. It allows you turn off your brain, to feel calmer. Maybe it hearkens back to the days when our eating was done in a hostile environment. We were vulnerable when eating, so we had to get it done as quickly as possible before a predator came to attack us or to take the food away. Whatever habits caused that efficiency were useful, maybe even crucial.  In a safe environment, there's no longer the need for efficiency. We can enjoy the eating for its own sake. A different reward--one we're not used to allowing ourselves. 

I wonder if there could be an intrinsic reward for measuring and weighing?  Shirley says it works to slow down the process, but I'm looking for more than that.  I'll have to think about it, see what I can come up with.