Slow and Steady Wins the Race

This past week was somewhat challenging, mostly because I was making treat bags for my coworkers containing cookies, jelly beans and mints.  I did allow myself to taste the treats, though only in small amounts instead of throwing caution to the winds and gobbling down whatever was left over, as I might have done in earlier times.

I'm gradually losing more and more weight, a fact that is not yet visible to my coworkers, apparently, though it's very evident to me.  I bought some new clothes recently and found I was a size smaller.  I even bought jeans, which I have not done in many years, and it felt good to be able to wear them without worrying that I look like the broad side of a barn! I'm also tickled to be able to fit into clothes I had put in the back of the closet, waiting for the time when I could wear them again. It's like having new clothes!

I feel a bit of sadness, though, as I diminish in size.  I'm going to miss my fat self, I think.  Being thin is akin to being ordinary, in a way (though more and more it seems fat is the new ordinary). Having an outsized appetite is womanly, strong-minded even, not frail and weak, like the child-like waif who says, "Oh, I couldn't eat another bite!"  I'm going to miss that mark of substance.  But as Shirley would probably say, I can be strong-minded in a healthy way; I can show my substance by not overfeeding myself.

All of these are good reasons to lose weight slowly.  It seems like it's taking forever, but I need time to adjust--to new eating habits, smaller size clothes, and new ways of thinking about myself.  Such adjustments are not possible when the goal is to lose weight quickly.  So I'm going to enjoy the slow pace of my transformation, and maybe it will be permanent!

And I'll keep you posted with each tiny step.